No more arguing......

Before I lost weight I used to HATE clothes shopping for myself! I found it a truly humiliating horrific experience!
Going into a shop and seeing a vast array of clothes that I either liked or loved but knew, I would really struggle to get into wasn't a fun experience!
I can't tell you the amount of times my husband and I have had full blown arguments because I couldn't find anything to wear so obviously I took it out on him. In my head I knew I was being unfair and that I was the only one that could do anything to change myself and the way I looked. At the time I just was not ready for it!

Zip forward to now and for the first time in 11 years I am able to find clothes that not only fit but also actually look really cute!

At the minute I can comfortably fit into a UK size 16/14 depending on the shop and style of top/dress etc but today I managed to squeeze myself into a UK size 12 top!!!!!!! Overjoyed is an understatement.

Now to be honest I'm not one for judging someones size by their dress size - there is far too much variation from shop to shop and style to style, I mean I got in a 12 in one shop and found a 16 slightly on the tight side in another - but still this very small victory made me smile, even just for a minute!

Here's what I bought - All from Primark (cheap and cheerful) but I've found that losing weight at this speed means my clothes don't fit me for long so call me tight but I don't want to spend much. At the minute anyway, just wait until I've settled on my goal weight and I'll be shopping up a storm.

LOVE LOVE LOVE These shoes!

Motivation

My motivation is seriously lacking again! I've eaten rubbish this past weekend, and although i've still done a fair bit of exercise I'm back to feeling fat and really unmotivated.

I seem to go through phases. I'll go from smashing every gym session to not being in the mood and having a few bad days! However when I have big goals to achieve and not a massive amount of time to achieve them in, I can't afford to go back to the unmotivated me!

I've got it in my head that a "little won't hurt" or "one day off is ok". I don't want to fail and I somehow need to move on from this asap.

When I'm actually at the gym there isn't a problem. I know I'm getting stronger, I know I'm getting smaller and fitter and one hell of a lot healthier. Getting myself to the gym and to keep up with my diet is the problem.

Over the last 2 weeks I've been told by numerous people that I'm looking amazing, and to be honest while I totally love the compliments I think the pressure is getting to me. I want to look good for my 30th and I want to prove that I can do this, but I am also mega scared of failing!! I've spent a lot of money and taken a lot of time to get this far - what if I balls it all up now?

At the end of the day I have 2 choices....either I ignore the niggling doubts and chose to get on and smash it again or I decide now to fail.........For me failure is now not an option, I've come to far to let it be.

Life isn't all rainbows, unicorns and flowers.....just really wish it was sometimes!